The WILL of GOD

I have this theory, but you might think I'm crazy. Recently I listened to a sermon by Francis Chan in which he talks about the "WILL of GOD." To some people the will of God is scary, and I guess in some ways it is scary. I mean, what if God doesn't want for our lives what we want? What if He wanted us to give up everything we love and call our own and go live in African jungles or in the middle of a trailer park or a cardboard box in Mexico? Ha. I don't think that's what really scares people about the will of God. It's definitely not what scares me. What is scary about the will of God is the little things: what if I don't make as much money as I could because God doesn't want me in the posh office job? What if I have to move a couple of states away from all of my family and friends? What if I have to give up my dreams for God's dreams? What if I don't get the house, the car, and the 2.5 kids in the American dream? Now that, to some people, is scary.

Then there are people who are on the totally other end of the spectrum when it comes to the will of God. These are the people who cannot even decide what restaurant to eat dinner at because they want to be "in the will of God." That example is a bit drastic, but seriously, there are those of us who really do that. I say "those of us" because I am guilty. I have gotten in the mindset that if I want to be used by God I have to be in the right place at the right time doing the right thing. I have broken up with boyfriends because of the "will of God" (which I do think was the right thing to do haha) but I have also missed out on great opportunities because I was too busy looking for the will of God to realize that he could use me right where I was. My uncle Greg is a great Sunday school teacher and he once said, "Sometimes we miss wonderful opportunities from God because we are too busy waiting for what we think He should give us." Greg's lesson that Sunday was about being less of a "reactionary," someone who just moves when God moves, and to be more willing to take action.

This is where my theory comes in. And don't take me the wrong way, I'm not trying to step on the toes of anyone's doctrines or dogmas, I just really believe that whatever we do, "in word or in deed" as long as we do it in the name of Jesus, we are going to be blessed, God is going to use us. The word tells us that God uses willing vessels. I think this means that he uses people in every walk of life, no matter what they might be doing. I don't think its a matter of "God show me where you want me to go" but rather, "God, here I am, use me." That's my prayer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason. Here I am, a twenty-year-old college student. I go to a small country church. I want to be a teacher, a wife, and a mom someday. I think God placed me here and gave me these desires because that's the way he wanted me. So why would I question what He is going to do with my life? I think too many times we believe, like the first person I described, that being in God's will requires sacrifice, and maybe sometimes it does, if we are hanging onto things for selfish gain, but often times I think we forget that God loves us and wants to bless us. 

I just imagine, as God's child, how much I love him and how much I desire to please him and do good things for him, but moreover, I realize that his Word tells me that he loves me so much more, so wouldn't that mean that he wants me to be happy? One of my favorite psalms says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Whoa. Does that sound like anything anyone has ever told you about the will of God? Probably not. But its true, because if you are delighting yourself in the Lord, chances are, your desires are the same as his. And he will give them to you. 

A Lovely Weekend

Here I am! A friend of mine told me today she was sad because I hadn't posted in a few days, and to be honest, I'm sad too! The past few days have been so crazy and I have been having blogging withdrawals. I mean, I was on a roll about a week ago.

So what has been going on... Ha. Everything.

First of all, before I lose your interest, I had a profound thought. I don't have these very often, but hey, every now and then it happens! This profound thought was about dating. Now, let me preface this a little bit. I dated the same guy through most of high school and for a little while at college, but it didn't work out. Well, whenever I was (and still am) asked about why we broke up, it was always hard for me to put it into words without being extremely long winded. However, this past weekend I had a revelation of what really went on in that situation and what probably goes on in most situations, and that is this: Every girl wants to be taken care of (true? yes) and (hopefully) every guy wants a girl that he can take care of. Whoa! So true! I mean, that is exactly what happened in my situation. And this can be really spiritual too. If the guy is called to be the spiritual leader of the household, but the girl or the wife is more spiritual, then of course things are gonna be out of whack. I don't know, maybe you already knew this, maybe I'm catching on a little late... but I thought it was good.

Anyways, this past weekend was so. much. fun. On Friday night (my first free Friday night in quite a while) I went to see my cousin Lauren's first softball game. She did great! It kind of made me miss my middle school-softball-playing days, but not really. I was actually a horrible softball player; I'm a much better do-anything-but-play-sports kind of person. 

On Saturday, my sisters, my mom, my grandmother, and I went to a mother/daughter worship service and tea party. My sisters and I led praise and worship and my mom was the special speaker for the day. She did a fabulous job. She talked a lot about just being a mother and all the great memories she has, and all the wonderful times she has had with my sisters and I, but then she related it to how the church is a mother to sinners and how we ought to love those who come into the church as our own children. She was great.

On Saturday night we had a movie night at the church. We watched the new Narnia movie, which I loved. I mean, I'm just a Narnia fan. I read all the books, I watch all the movies. Maybe I'm a nerd, I'm not really bothered by it :) Then I stayed up preparing for Sunday school the next morning and talking on the phone, which was probably not the best decision... turns out I needed my beauty sleep because....

On Sunday morning we had awesome church! AND we had special visitors :) My friends Joseph and Jara and their mom, Kathy came to visit and we had just a good ol' time worshiping the Lord. Of course, Sunday was mother's day and we celebrated Mom all day and that was fun too.

And now it's Monday, May 9, 2011. Who knew it would come so soon? And it's finals week. Bluck. Actually, not bluck. Finals week isn't all that bad because there are no classes and I just have to take three tests and I get to hang out with friends and par-tay (in the most non-typical-college way) all week. So yay! It's gonna be a good week!

Rules to live by...

In all my years of life (20, to be exact) I like to think I have learned a few things. However, since becoming a youth leader last August, I have learned more than I would have ever imagined. Here are some of the things I have learned: (also check them out on my new page!)

1. 
   Love others.
2. Never, and I mean never, gossip. It is ugly.
3. Always let every girl know how beautiful she is.
4. Let every young boy know that he can become a great man.
5. If you know Jesus, you ought to be smiling.

One More Thing

My previous post was a list of all the things I learned today (quite a bit, eh?). However, there is one thing I learned that requires a post all to itself. Over the past few weeks, maybe two months, I have learned something about myself that I am not so sure I like. I have realized that I have the tendency to suppress things I do not want to remember, almost to the point of no return. So here I am, at the age of (almost) 20 realizing that there are things in my life I do not remember and I have no clue why. On one hand, I'm glad I figured it out now, rather than when I'm 67 (my grandmamma realized she does this too). On the other hand, I wonder if maybe it's okay.

First of all, I think it is partially due to human nature. There are things we don't want to remember, for whatever reason, so we simply forget them. I remember learning about suppressed memories in my psychology class last year. I have known other people in my life who have told me they just "forgot" stuff they didn't want to remember and I almost looked down on them for not being able to just "deal" with stuff. I mean, this is just so weird to me. I didn't realize I was this kind of person. Maybe it's something new, but I think I want to get over it; I'm not so sure I like it.

I realize this, first of all, because since J and I broke up I cannot remember hardly anything about our relationship. This is a big deal. Of course, I remember things like where we went on our first date and our first kiss, the first time we broke up (haha), and other things of that nature, but I have completely blocked quite a bit of it from my memory. The thing is, I've suppressed the good memories as well as the bad memories ( I know this because when I think really hard or am reminded, then I remember them). And not necessarily because I hate the memories, but simply because it makes me sad to think about the good times, and the bad times, well, they were bad! Why would I want to remember them?

The second thing that made me realize this is that I have completely and I mean COMPLETELY blocked out the "talk" that my mom gave me when I was becoming a "young woman." Evidently she talked to me and my sister at the same time because Bek remembers it. I, however, cannot for the life of me recall the talk. It must've been horrible; I have no idea.

Funny that these are the memories I have suppressed huh? Maybe there are more. I don't know. I wish I could get them back because I think I need to deal with some of this stuff so that I can get healing and move on with my life. It's something to pray about for now, and change for the future.

Things I Learned Today:

At the Ladies Conference:

1. "Sometimes we have to go through pretty hard bad-ships."
2. Doctors just have a license to "practice," Jesus is the only one who can heal us.
3. Onions are, and will always be, gross. And they ruin anything they touch
4. You can't feed a baby that's not hungry
5. WHAT'S UP??? JESUS is up!
6. I, nor anyone in my family, will EVER win a door prize. Period.
7. The one thing they definitely teach you in Bible college is how long to preach. And its NOT two hours
8. "Making a long story short" actually means nothing.
9. Warning: Pentecostal women will shout. If you don't like it you can leave.
10. When God says do something, you better do it.
11. Men never claim guilt. Women always claim their guilt.
12. It's good to be a woman.

From Grandmama:

1. A grandmother's wallet is bottomless when it comes to flower pins and headbands
2. If you don't want the Holy Ghost to get on you, it won't get on you
3. "You know that time we felt the Holy Ghost and got scared and wanted to leave? Well it was real then and it's real now!"
4. If you're not in love with someone, don't marry them.
5. On the same note, if you see two people who aren't in love, don't encourage them to get married.
6. When it's time to go, it's time to go.