Hannah prayed for a child; it was the greatest desire of her heart. After years without bearing children and constant taunting from a woman who could bear her husband sons, Hannah was desperate. The enduring love of her husband was not enough. Her deepest desire could not be quenched by any love other than the love of a child. When Hannah went to the Temple to pray, she prayed so long and so hard for a child that the priest, Eli, thought she was drunk, he even asked her to leave, but Hannah knew though Eli may not understand, though her husband may not understand, God had heard her prayer. Before Hannah would return to the temple the next year, she would bear a son, his name would be Samuel.
However, there was a catch. Hannah, in her desperate, drunken prayer had promised God that if He would give her a son, she would give the son back to Him, and the next year, when the time came to make her annual trip to the Temple, Hannah took Samuel and left him there. The only thing we ever hear about Hannah after that point is that she got to see her son once a year and brought him new clothes each time.
What was it about having a son that Hannah was so desperate for, if she knew she would not keep him? Hannah's desire was for a child that she would only see once a year! Why? Wouldn't having a son and never seeing him be just as bad as never having a son? How did Hannah feel when God gave her a son and she remembered her promise to give him away? Was she heart broken? Was she mad? Did she think God would hold her to her word? Did she beg God to be able to keep her son? Or did she have peace and willingly take him to the Temple and leave him?
I think Hannah knew something that I, at times, do not want to know. Hannah knew that anything God gives us is for His glory, and His glory alone. We can hold onto it, and let it become something that God never intended for it to be, or we can take what God has given us and give it back to Him and give our gift the opportunity to become exactly what God intended it to be. Something great, like Samuel. Hannah could have kept Samuel at home, but he may have turned out to be a bratty kid and a foul sheep farmer, but she gave him to God and he became a great prophet for God.
Hannah didn't want a son so that she could feel love. She wanted a son so that she could love him.
and the best way to love the gift that God had given her was to give him back to God. As a mother, she had done the best possible thing she could have done for her child. I want to take the gifts that God has given me and give them back to him, because keeping them would be selfish and keeping them would ruin them.
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is this one, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 and so many times we want the desires of our heart and not to delight ourselves in the Lord, or we forget that is part of the deal. I had the revelation though, that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, His desires become our desires. But it is so easy to receive and forget that it's His desire. That He has plans for our desires.
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