We all have a lot to learn...

Last week, a minister said to my sixteen-year-old sister, "You may know a lot... but you don't know everything." At the time, I amen-ed that statement. Later I kicked myself in the teeth as I shoved my foot in my mouth. I definitely agree with the sentiment; my sister doesn't know everything. But whether one is six, sixteen, or sixty, we all have A LOT to learn. 

Obviously, the fact that I have a lot to learn is a lesson I have learned here lately (was that confusing enough for ya?) First thing I have learned: Discretion. Okay, seriously Anna, there is a time to speak and a time to SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Gosh, this is the hardest thing I have ever faced... Just kidding, but no, seriously, it is. I have learned that really the only good time to open your mouth is when you are saying something constructive (even then, watch the tone of voice) or when you are praising Jesus. That's it... no really, I know there are other circumstances under which one may speak... I just can't think of them right now. I definitely know you should never ever speak if you are making fun of someone, or dogging someone, or gossiping. Even if its just once and only like one person hears you, you will feel like a dog afterwards and will feel the need to apologize, which is an oh-so-humbling thing to do. (Speak from personal experience much?)

On a positive note, I am learning about rest. This is something I do not do very often. I am a pusher, so much so that sometimes I make myself sick. For instance, last semester I took 18 hours of class, worked a part-time job, youth pastored during the week, came home and lead praise and worship and sometimes taught Sunday school on the weekend, plus somehow managed to keep up with friends, make time for family, study, eat, and (sometimes) sleep. At the end of the semester I had came down with shingles. Now I think I have laryngitis, which is not good for a singer. I'm not saying all of this to toot my own horn or anything... its just more proof that I have a lot to learn. So I have learned that there are two types of rest (well, I already knew this, I just didn't know how to put it in action). First of all, there is physical rest, which I definitely need so my body doesn't completely shut down and hate me. Secondly though, and more importantly, there is spiritual rest. This is something that takes training I tell you! I almost killed myself spiritually last semester because even though I was doing all these cool things and I was working for the Lord, I spent no time on myself... and that leads to one thing: Burn Out. It happens so easily, and its so hard to come back from it. So this summer I have learned what it means to read the Word for myself, to pray for myself, and to be a little selfish about the time I spend in the presence of the Lord... Its been magnificent, but I am still learning.

Today I learned what it feels like to be old... kind of. I know that some of you who read this blog are probably laughing at me, but seriously, my youngest sister Jessica started her freshman year of high school today. It's been six years since I walked the hallways of freshman academy at LCHS... which feels like yesterday and an eternity all at the same time. As she talked about meeting new friends, finding someone to sit with at lunch, and buying school supplies I felt for just one millisecond kinda sad... but it soon passed. I really hated high school. I realize now though, that life really was simple then and it was a really good time in my life. I hope she makes the best of it. I think my sister Christina found out what it really means to be an older sister today. She is a junior in high school and came home completely frazzled because Jessica found the school bus without her help... 

Finally, I am learning about patience. I really am a patient person most of the time. I don't mind waiting in lines or at the doctors office. But I have discovered that me and long-term goals do not get along. I mean, I don't mind waiting a couple weeks for the next episode of Grey's Anatomy, but waiting two years to be done with school or for other things I want to see happen? Its so hard! I know that part of my issue is trusting God. I like to be in control and when things are out of my hands, I get impatient. So everyday is a day that I have to learn more patience and more trust.

Finally, something that I learn more about everyday is God's grace. The other day I was talking to my grandad. He and my grandmama will have been married fifty years in December, and he said "I love your grandmama more today than I did fifty years ago. I love her more and more everyday." Wow. I mean, I feel that way about the Lord. Everyday I learn to love God more because I learn more about Him. Lately, I feel like I have learned so much about His grace. I am astonished at how He loves me so unconditionally, even when I feel like I fail Him over and over again. Learning to love is such a great thing.