Perseverance

I tweeted earlier that this has been the most ridiculous week ever. It was the truth. I don't even know where to start. I have so many thoughts right now and I want to vent, but I don't know how appropriate that is for this blog. I think I'll do the bulleted-list thing.

~The week started out... oh goodness. All day Monday I was worried about the rest of my life. I know that sounds so vague and so dramatic, but its the only way I know how to put it without going into details. Seriously, I have been praying for direction for several weeks now and I really have felt at peace with where I am and what I am doing, but then things started happening to make me question it, and I didn't like it. I still haven't figured it all out yet, but its not really my job to worry about tomorrow. Monday night at prayer meeting, I just went up to the altar and laid all my worries there at the feet of Jesus. I don't plan on picking them up, though I have been tempted to do so all week.

~That was kind of heavy, so here's something a little better: I went shopping today (I am such a girl) I got a really cute shirt/cover/vesty thing that I don't know how to describe for six dollars. SCORE! I love getting a bargain. Its like my absolute favorite thing in the world. Plus, I think all girls can concur that buying ourselves something makes everything better.

~I have been slacking on the consecration thing. I am so ashamed of myself. When I was preparing for the first week I started the Monday before because I was so excited, last week to prepare I started on the Thursday before. Today is Friday and I have not started. Yesterday I had enough of a fleeting thought about preparing to make myself feel guilty about it, but not enough to do anything. But I did start today, so that's better than Saturday at midnight I suppose. 

~One of my best friends in the whole world, Kaitlyn, is here from Arkansas and Rebekah and I met up with her yesterday to have lunch and hang out. It was amazing getting to have much-needed girl talk and all of that good stuff. We stayed up entirely too late last night finishing up the giggling and fun stuff as well.

~Our kitten, Tom Tommy, is about two months old and he loves water. Its weird. Sometimes when we're in the pool we put him on a float and he just floats around, then jumps in. But its okay because we are there to rescue him. Well today, we were in the pool and he was just sitting on the deck watching us, and out of nowhere jumps right in the pool! And couldn't get out! I was so scared he was going to drown, but Rebekah got to him in time. I hope he doesn't jump in when we're not there... that would be bad.

~I have a serious issue. I cannot cry. I haven't cried in a really long time. Its not good because I am stressed a lot of the time and I think its due to my no-crying problem. There are times in my life when I just think, "This is when a normal person would cry" but I can't. My eyes get watery... sometimes, but never are there any tears. Monday I cried for the first time since... well, probably since Amanda died. And it was only like three tears, I consider that crying like a baby. How horrible is that? I've actually prayed about it because I really want to cry. I feel like I am a rock. Emotionless. Except I feel it inside and I want to cry... I don't know.

~We watched the movie "Tangled" this week, the one about Rapunzel. It was such a cute movie. I loved it. 

~I really want to get married. But it really scares me too. I guess that's normal, but it may have been a little much to tell the whole world. Oh well. 

~I just read this verse and it really encouraged me: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because the trying of your faith produces perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-3 Wow.