He Always Knows

Its funny how God always knows exactly what we are in need of. Its even funnier how He knows exactly when to step in and show us he really is in control. Tonight I felt myself beginning to feel really sorry for myself. Things have not been going that great, it seems like lately I have really lost all sense of direction and I have been wandering aimlessly. I haven't really had any motivation to do any of the things that I want to do... or used to want to do.

Label it depression or anything that may float your boat. Looking at the situation now I just call it feeling sorry for myself, but its ok, God showed me something tonight.

For Christmas I got this really cute, red, leather, journal. Its really nice. I decided that this journal would be the place where I wrote all the great things that God tells me. You know how much I've written since Christmas? Nada. Nothing. Why? you may ask. Basically because I haven't really heard anything from God lately. Until now. Tonight I was feeling really low, I was working on some stuff for church, though I didn't really want to because I didn't feel like anyone was really going to appreciate the work I was doing, when I felt compelled to read some of the book of Acts. I was flipping through the pages looking for a good place to start when a verse that I had highlighted sometime ago popped out at me. This is what it said:

"But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy and the ministry which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God."

I went back a few verses to see what was really going on in this verse to learn that Paul was on the way to Jerusalem and he had a heavy spirit. The KJV of the Bible says that Paul said he was bound in the spirit. "Bound in the spirit" seems to me to be a pretty good way to describe the way I have been feeling lately. Paul also says that he didn't know why he was even going to Jerusalem, he didn't know what was awaiting him there. Did I mention earlier that I was feeling kind of lost? without direction? like I don't really know what I'm doing? I think I did.

Paul was in this same situation, but still he says, I will not let this bother me! What is going on around me does not change the ministry God has given me. It does not change the purpose of my life. Actually, I'm going to finish my course with joy! I'm going to live a happy life! That's what Paul's outlook was. This is so encouraging to me! I have found throughout much of my reading and studying of Paul that he and I are a lot alike. Even more so, I have discovered that we serve the same God, and what God spoke unto Paul goes for me too.

So on these days when I feel low and hopeless, I will not let it affect me, but I will finish my course with joy, I will go on in the ministry God has given me, trusting that He always knows. He knows me, He knows the ministry He has given me, and even more, he sees the situation that I am in and he loves me and he will get me through it!